Sometimes you have to be apart from people you love, but that doesn’t make you love them any less. Sometimes you love them more

Thoughts.

It sucks when you miss that person so much that you look through old photos, old text messages, even old statues. And it brings a smile to your face, but then the hurt comes back and you know you shouldnt be looking back, but you cant help it because they really meant something to you and you thought it would of lasted. 

Even the Best Fall down Sometimes..

the last couple of days, ive been really struggling and not sure why.
i miss him and its hard not knowing what is going to happen when he 
gets home. there is always the thought of "What If's" going through 
my head, and thats what kills me the most. I have struggled since he has
been out on the mission, i have made plenty of mistakes, and if he cant forgive
me or not judge me by my choices and just love me for me..and the person i am 
then i am going to be happy. but at this point, i am lost. 
i told myself this was going to be hard but i never thought it was going to be this hard.
this whole experience has been crazy. 

Me going on my first date since he left. a year into the mission!

Never take anything for granted

New Shoes..

Eating with his whole family before taking him to the MTC so glad i got to experience this day!

I fell in love with this, so thought i would share it.

Reading after the gym before bed; best thing ever. Bible love

The scariest thing about distance is that you dont know whether they'll miss you or forget you.

Remember.. Things do not change, We change.

6 Months Mark! time is flying...

P-Day!

He was writing me and email and took a picture for me:)

Letters.letters.letters.

he knows how to make my day! Justin Bieber sticker, and a 4 page letter!

this kid.

Status.

YES; me and jordon still talk, write, and email every chance we get. YES; i am dating. i have only dated ONE guy since he has been gone which he has been gone for a year and 4 months. YES; i still love him i always will no matter what happens. YES; things have changed from the first year he left but i wouldnt change anything for the world and whatever we have gone through, and will go through it will only make us stronger people.
-- i know people get really confused, or talk about me because they dont know whats going on in my life or our lives. if people would just ask me... instead of talk and make up things i would be just fine. 
If you are waiting for a missionary just know..even though he is gone there will be things that you guys struggle with, you will still have your ups and downs as if he were here. But you guys can get through them! Be positive and just be a support system for each other. 

Pictures;

Well its hard deciding what pictures to put on here because my computer counted; it says we have:
488 pictures. that is insane i am not complaining! but still....looks like i cant share them all with you followers, but i will do my best. 

Memory Box & Letters.

I have a box where i keep every note, picture, sticker, letter or memory of Jordon and I. its been amazing

Jordon in the MTC with a fellow Deltan.

Update

Well for the past 2 months me and jordon have been talking more; a lot more. And it has been so nice to see that after all this time we still care for each other, we still love each other and no matter what we have said or done in the last year and 5 months we are getting back to at least talking, and getting a lot closer. i could not be happier. 
#happy #missionary status
ps. 7 MONTHS LEFT 

Quinn Montgomery;

well i told you i was "dating" so at the end of October i met Quinn. the night we met it was crazy, we hit it off and we both agree it felt like we had known eachother for a life time. We started hanging out, and getting more close. I dont know if it was because i was "lonely" or it was something "new" in my life but i thought i actually loved the kid. We dated for 4 months and it was awesome, we spent a lot of time together i met his family which was AMAZING. they are the sweetest people, and his mom is adorable. He was ready for "marriage" but i am no where near that point in my life, and that kind of frustrated him. He had a rough past but i have never been the type to judge, or not give someone a chance just because of something they have done. But our relationship ended pretty badly, and i found a lot more he had been lying about. I still was there for him, didnt judge him and even though he ignored me for almost a month without telling me what was going on in his life i gave him the benefit of the doubt. And even after everything still to this day i will always be there for him, and ever since we broke up life has been hard, and one thing after another starts happening but i am stronger then ever. And i am so glad i can talk to my Missionary about it.

Dating...

One thing we discussed when he left was "dating" i didnt want too, but he wanted me too. That is one thing we disagreed on. 
For ONE WHOLE YEAR i did not date, or even consider dating. I moved in with Danielle which was actually one of Jordons best friends/companions, and we both decided they "expected" us to be there and wait for them even though they said they didnt want us too that we were going to do exactly what they told us. I know i am not perfect, and either is he but i knew i needed to date, and see what it was like. 
its been hard, i still love him. and i still think about him. and i dont think ANYONE will EVER understand how perfect we were together. 

October 27th, 2010

The Day He Left; 
i had been thinking about this day for the last 3 months, and it finally came. and i dont think i could be anymore "less" prepared then i was. I got to spend the last 3 nights with him in Lehi at his brother and sisters house with his entire family and i knew a lot of girls didnt get to experience that with their missionaries so i was truly grateful. I got to go to the "setting a part" and also got to experience the "MTC", all day we were quiet towards each other but i think because we knew it was our last day together. we had been talking about this day for months, and it came sooner then expected.Jordon has been my best friend, we did everything together..i mean everything. and i knew it was going to be such a hard adjustment to not just call him when i needed help or to talk. i was so thankful to have his family, and how they were nice enough to let me share this experience with them. We ate at Mimi's Cafe, and then it was off to to the mtc, we got to take some pictures together and before i knew it we were dropping him off at the curb. Hayley (his sister) just hugged each other and cried. I dont think i will ever forget that moment he walked away and i just sat there watching him and thinking. -This is the last time i will see him, and i swear i was taking mental images i didnt want to miss anything, and our last hug, our last conversation, i made sure to hold onto it because i didnt want to forget what it felt like. The rest of the day i got to spend it with his amazing family. 

His Call;

I dated Jordon Sorensen aka. (Missionary) for 4 years before he decided to take the plunge and go serve an LDS mission. I was proud to say the least, i knew he was struggling with his decision to either keep going to school and wrestle in college or go on a mission for 2 years. 
And when he got his mission call in the mail we were actually in Lake Powell having the best vacation, so when we arrived home..IT WAS TIME! time to open up his call and see where GOD had planned for him to go, i told him on the way there that i hope he didnt go to Vegas, or Arizona..because they have really pretty girls. So his whole family came over, i was so nervous, he was too. He was trying to wait to open but he called me saying he couldnt sleep so he just went for it. Well he opened it and he looked right at me and said... "I got called to serve in Arizona" my face probably was a bit shocking but Jordon being Jordon he was kidding and he finally said. "I got called to serve in the Kennewick, Washington mission and i will go to the MTC on October 27th." I was scared but i was so proud, and happy for him! That meant 3 months left to spend time together.